Disagreements Couples Have
Posted on April 9, 2021
My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have not had more than 90 days of peace in our house because of marital discord. We have been in the couple board for 2 years and for about 1 year in individual counseling. I took my share of responsibility in the communication margin and made changes in my behaviour and reactions to situations. I no longer ask what I need, but I prefer to take care of myself rather than rely on him. He takes responsibility for himself, says he will make changes, but when uncomfortable problems arise – even the smallest – he returns to old communication patterns that are hurtful, unresolved, even respectful. While the question of whether to have children or not, can be a serious dealbreaker, the decision of how parents, if you have children, should not be. Some couples argue about denominational preferences, some argue over the foundations of faith, others argue over the degree of commitment and others argue about religion, because one of you is interested and the other is not. Whatever the fight, live your faith with authenticity, integrity and humility. The closer you are to God, the closer you are to your buddy, no matter where your spouse is. The crucial point here is your loyalty, not yours.
Here`s the thing – it would be easy to say, “go to a date night more often, or “give them more compliments, and while these strategies might completely help some couples, other couples may be tired/busy/stressed, and in the end fight by the date night, or compliments may not be noticed and could leave you in need if you try. Be at the outset about your financial situation and spending habits. Do you have a “money conversation” with your other important before every big step like moving in together, getting married or having a child. Confirm that you are likely to have different habits – you could be a donor, and one of them could be a saver – and there are positive and negative aspects about both lifestyles. Think of money as the life you build together, not your money, effort, and work against it. Guilherme`s team asked university students to choose topics that married couples are likely to argue about, from serious topics like abortion to TV shows that can be watched. When unmarried couples visit Sussman, they often want to talk about commitment. In general, Sussman said, one partner feels more engaged than the other. Or a partner wants to “move the relationship forward” by withdrawing or engaging and facing resistance.
“It`s unrealistic to expect both partners to pay attention to everything,” says David Bennett, a certified consultant and relationship expert at Bustle. “However, if the two people can resolve differences of opinion in a way that is honest, friendly and compromise-based… The relationship will be a success. And for certain types of disagreements, such as those below, being able to communicate openly about them may actually be an indication that your relationship is getting stronger. Among the final list were disagreements about who should pay, how often to see friends and how often to have sex. If you and someone you love, you`ve found yourself in a really bad argument, don`t be afraid to pause and get back to things if you`re both emotionally more stable and ready to communicate. Sussman has described 10 of the most common sources of conflict among couples she sees, and the important thing is that working on your communication skills is the key to solving everyone. “If you communicate well, you can overcome these problems in such a way that you really get closer,” she said. “And if you don`t communicate well, it`s going to make things worse and it can tear you apart.” “Many couples have different political views and still manage to stay together,” Bennett says.